When staticshin ran out of paper

Akshat Jiwan Sharma, Sat Feb 07 2015

Dearest Readers,

It was the year of 1717 or of 1818, I am not quite sure which since it was some time ago, that I first started staticshin. I didn't have a means of delivering my writing to you so I devised a peculiar delivery technique, which has since grown into a tradition. The service which is know known as the "kite mail" was first started by me in the year of 1717 or of 1818, I can't be sure because it was long long ago, to deliver my articles to you since I did not have any means of delivery. Any way I will not bore you with the details since almost everyone delivers the post by the "kite mail" method and you all must be quite familiar with it.

The problem with "kite mail" is that it is quite unreliable. Which is why I experimented with another delivery technique known as "pigeon entrapment". While it sounds like a conspiracy against humble pigeons I assure you that I have nothing against them. But they sure do poop a lot. We can't do anything about that now can we. Pigeons pooping all the time. Anyway my experiment of using pigeons for the delivery turned out to be quite successful. Once more I will not bore you with the details since I am sure that this technique will also become quite popular.

Coming back to the question of the year when I started staticshin. I think it was 1717 or 1818. I can not with certainty point to the definite period of time when I first commenced writing for it but it was one of the two.

I have also encountered my fair share of problems. Like for instance, as I mentioned before, the pigeon poop. I think that it is rather unfortunate that pigeons can't exercise a bit of self control. Every where I look I see hordes of pigeons eating corn. I think that right there is the root of the problem. When a pigeon sees corn it can't restrain itself. And it goes on a feeding frenzy even if it is quite full. If we could train pigeons to eat less corn there will be lot less pooping on window shields of the cars and consequently lot less car washes as a result of which we will not only save water but also fuel. I feel that it is imperative that pigeons be trained in consuming the right amount of corn. It's good not only for us but also for the planet.

Then the question arises where are we to find such a person? I don't personally know any. Do you? If you do then be sure to drop a mail to me. Feel free to use the "kite mail" method. Which ,as I may have alluded to once or twice before, I invented for the delivery of my posts in the year of 1717 or 1818, I can say with complete confidence that it was one of the two.

P.S.: I don't think we are running out of papers yet. It was just a miscalculation. The records are too old you see all the way back from 1919.

Truly yours,

Yours truly.


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